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Finding Balance: Emma’s Journey Through Binge Eating Disorder and Trauma.

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Welcome to my blog series, where I will discuss therapy from a client's viewpoint. It's important to mention that, while my insights are drawn from extensive experience with clients from various backgrounds, all individuals, names, personas, businesses, locations, occurrences, and events depicted are entirely fictional. Any similarity to real-life individuals, living or deceased, or actual events is purely coincidental.


Emma had been reluctant to book the appointment. After all, what use was a psychologist in weight loss? But after having every diet in the book (including a memorable adventure through the cabbage soup diet), having watched her weight fluctuate but never reach her goal, and finding herself again overeating to the point of physical and mental discomfort, she started to wonder if something else was contributing towards her eating patterns. Something to do with her past.


Gently, and throughout several sessions, Emma unpacked her childhood, slowly laying out the pieces. She had been the 4th of 6 children, born to parents for whom, in her words, 'appearance was everything'. She recalled from a young age being dressed in uncomfortable, starched dresses for church, of new cars gracing the driveway, and the children's achievements being publicly announced and their shortcomings abruptly criticised. "I was always larger than my siblings, and not as clever, or brilliant at sport. Mum let me know all about it".


Over the years Emma grew a core belief that she would never be good enough for her family, particularly her mother, who she recalled as unaffectionate and distant with her. "Food was my comfort, when I was sad, which was most of the time, I would sneak food to my room and eat". Her resulting weight gain led to increased criticism from her mother, who first put her on a diet when she was 6. "I was so desperate to please her, I would stop eating, but mum never noticed and I couldn't sustain it, so I would just go back into my old patterns". Emma left home at 16, and went onto work in the catering industry, where her pattern of eating continued, along with the intense feelings of shame and guilt.


Traumatic experiences can disrupt emotional regulation and coping mechanisms, potentially forming a link between trauma and unhealthy eating patterns including binge eating disorder. Food becomes a way to numb distressing feelings or regain a sense of control as the body’s stress response leads to emotional cravings and compulsive eating patterns. Processing these painful memories helps the brain move on from a heightened state of threat, breaking the cycle of binge eating as a form of temporary relief.

We started by using CBT as a foundation to understanding unhelpful thinking patterns. Emma noticed that the focus of therapy didn't seem to be on food, in fact, her food consumption wasn't really mentioned at all. "I thought we were going to be really focused on what and when I was eating, but we haven't mentioned it for weeks!". Instead, by understanding how her past experiences had contributed towards dysregulated responses to emotional triggers, we were able to form other, healthier ways of self-soothing and coping.


The foundations built, and Emma feeling we had built a safe space and resources for her to use, we moved onto using EMDR to target core traumatic memories. Although the focus remained on past experiences, Emma reported noticing a reduction in the urge to binge, and greater emotional regulation. "When I come in from work it doesn't cross my mind as much to eat. Instead I'm playing with my dog, Poppy, or going to the swimming pool. I don't feel ashamed there any more - I'm just another person, in the pool. I don't think anyone actually notices me". Over time Emma continued to build her ability to recognize and process emotional triggers without turning to food. She focused on self-compassion and acceptance, treating herself like she would like to have been treated by others. As she built this, the frequency and intensity of bingeing episodes reduced, as did the associated guilt and shame.


Many eating disorders, including binge eating disorder, have their roots in unresolved trauma. By seeking help, and trauma-focused therapies such as EMDR, unhelpful cycles can be broken leading to healthier, more affirming patterns. If aspects of Emma's story have resonated with you, please feel free to get in touch.


Please note that Emma's story is entirely fictional, inspired by my years of working with adolescents and adults. The information about mental health, psychological therapy, and recovery from trauma is entirely based on current evidence-based knowledge and guidelines. Images are created using AI. If you would like more information or support please contact myself or any of the organisations listed on the Contact tab.

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